We all dreamed that one day our Prince would show up to save us, but who are you kidding- FAIRY TALES ARE NOT REAL!
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Why today and not yesterday... here is why:
- There was a strong chance you spent it alone, if you are single.
- There was that slight chance you did not meet your significant other's expectations.
Chapter 1: How to Get the Girl by: Heather
Now being the single, 26 year old that I am, I've been asked out in lots of different ways...
Now being the single, 26 year old that I am, I've been asked out in lots of different ways...
Here is my list of ways NOT to ask a girl out:
1. Don't throw a note at her with boxes to check! You know the one: Do you like me, check yes or no.
a. It's rude to throw stuff at us and run.
b. It proves that you're chicken.
2. Don't have a friend of yours ask her out for you! Whether it's a "wing-girl" or "wing-man".
a. It's pretty annoying to have strangers approach us in bars, especially two.
b. Again, it proves that you're chicken
3. We live in a Social Media filled world, I get it, but if you see her in person usually, don't use Facebook to stalk her or ask her out. As endearing and nerdy as it is... if we didn't meet each other in a chat room then don't ask her out in one.
4. Don't be that guy that stalks her where she works either. IT'S JUST PLAIN CREEPY!
5. Don't get sloppy drunk and think about asking her out. If you have to be drunk, then you probably shouldn't bother asking.
Here is my list of things to do to lead up to asking her out:
1. Find a way to get to know her... NOT by stalking her! Go on a group outings: a party, a dinner, a movie...
2. Once you've gotten to know her a bit through conversation: Ask for her number.
* At this point, it's perfectly acceptable to friend request her on Facebook and remember... Don't go through and like every picture on her page! She sees that! Just pick your favorite and like it.
3. You can now call her and get to know her... and even ask to hang out with her via phone call or text.
Now, at this point you have the opening to ask out on a date.
THINGS TO KNOW:
1. For a first date, choose something that is going to make you both comfortable. If you're not comfortable being in a really nice restaurant dressed to the nines, then don't start off with that. If you're not comfortable then we won't be comfortable.
2. Don't assume that you can kiss her on the first date, some of us don't roll like that and the last thing you want is to be shot down for the first kiss.
3. Do be yourself, if your awkward and nerdy, then be awkward and nerdy... We like it when you are genuinely yourself.
WHAT'S NEXT:
1. If you guys had chemistry, if she's still talking to you, then enjoy hanging out.
2. Don't put to much pressure on each other to label things, just continue to treat her like she's the most special girl in your world.
3. Keep being thoughtful, respectful, and if you can keep us laughing and smiling! We're probably hooked.
4. Don't let things get routine! Keep up the surprises! Keep that dating feeling!
5. Communicate.
Chapter 2: How to Keep the Girl by:Charlene
Now that you may have the girl; it is time to look at how to keep her. What gives me the insight, you are asking... Well, I spent about 1/2 of my life running from doomed relationship to doomed relationship. I am 30, now and boy have I learned a lot in the past few years. I took time to discover who I am. I took time to see what I wanted out of a relationship and no longer found myself at this intersection of "Lonesome and Hardup"!
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My first kiss, my first boyfriend was at 17. Before that, I had other things on my mind. I thought relationships were overrated. I was a free spirit looking to experience life and at that time boys were the last thing on my mind. Looking back, I regret nothing, but there are a few things I would change, if I could.
Side note: I will not name any names of the exes in the next few paragraghs... so all my exes you can breathe easier, your identity is safe. If you do know who or what I am talking about, keep the comments to yourselves! :0)
Today at 30, I like to believe I have found happiness with Joseph. I believe that after all this time he truly makes me happy! So, enough about me let's look at how to keep a girl!
1. Females are a complex creature. You may even think that we speak a different language and you are right, we do.The little things matter the most to us. "That time you stopped the car, when I was staring out the window wanting that shot of the sunset"- that let's me know you were listening. That can mean more to me then a dozen roses sent to my office on Valentine's Day. One is an unexpected gift and the other is an expected gift.
2. We appreciate the small things, but we are woo-ed by the big surprises. Our brains operate on different waves. Whether we admit it or not we are sensitive and every little thing affects us in some form or fashion. I personally am not a materialistic person. I am independent and at times the hardest thing for me is to admit I need help. And you know what guys, a lot of women are like that! Pay attention if your woman seems different or distant in anyway... ask her what is wrong! If she is not ready to talk, just let her know that you are there when she is ready. Also, if she tells you something is wrong, don't take it and make it out that you have a problem, too. Let her have her moment and then, you will get yours. Communication is the key!
3. Guys, open your eyes... how to keep your woman is to make her to fall in love many times, but the kicker is to make sure that it is with you always and forever. I have been in relationships where I could not wait to break free, because the person I fell in love with was no longer the same person. I am not saying that you have to stay the exact same (I mean we are human and we are constantly evolving), but what I am saying do not lose your identity.
4. Don't get this rule confused with #3. There is a difference and don't go through the rest of this post saying I am contradicting myself! This is very important: Do not change who you are because someone decides that you would be better without "this" quality! When they fell in love with you, they fell in love with ALL of you!
5. Ok, the biggest thing that is a relationship "ruin-er" is seeing where friends come in and interfere. Guys this may not be a football game, but in life, interference is not a good thing either. I have had 2 relationships that ended because of that, when I first started dating. I have, even, had many friends to come to me and say the same, too. Guys your "bros before hoes" motto, needs to go! Whether your "bro" is a dude or chick... majority of the time, your bro's "beaver damming" is jealousy! True friends will understand why you are spending a little more time with someone that you are attracted to. The craziest thing I ever have heard was where a girl, had to synchronize with her boyfriend friend's girlfriend's schedule to hangout with her boyfriend. ALL I COULD SAY TO THIS IS, WTF? So, now that we understand that hanging with the "boys" is cool, but getting "some" can be a lot cooler! Guys if it is a female friend that it beaver damming you, more than likely she does not like just being your friend... she wants more! Yes, it is true 95% of the time, she has wanted to be with you. and that is why she does not like your current girlfriend or the previous. The other 5% is because she does not want to share being the main female in the spotlight!
6. Technology is the devil! Put down the gadgets!!! If you have a beautiful girl in the room, give her attention or she may start giving someone else attention! Simply put: play with your toys, but not all the time!
7. Don't forget that you may be "long term", but you have to keep it FRESH! Have date nights, do things like when you first started dating. Be adventurous! Joseph and I, attend concerts and go to music festivals! We probably take more vacations than a normal people in a year.
8. Don't just have "wham bam thank you ma'ams"! Discover your partner and new things every time. Chemistry/ sex is very important! You have to keep it new... DON'T MAKE EXCUSES-- JUST DO IT!
9. Romance... you do not have to be a total Casanova or Romeo all the time, but every once in awhile is nice. It keeps us on our toes! Pace yourself small: start once a month and then step up your game to twice a month and so on!
10. When I first started dating Joseph, I would race to open my own door and what not, but looking back it was because, I had never known chivalrous behavior from my significant other. So, whether she fights your actions or accepts it... keep it up, she will come around and appreciate it!
11. Remember relationships are a two way street. If you have given your 110%, but your partner hasn't... it is time to take a step back and reevaluate the situation and vice versa for her! I spent 80% of relationships where I gave 200% and knew I needed to leave, but could not find ways to leave... don't fall victim to feeling stuck! No one is happy in those situations!
12. And the most important rule... relationships are hard work. If you are not ready to clock in and do work, stay single!
Well, we hope that we have enlightened you. We hope that you take the advice and apply it to your current love interest and get that girl and keep her!
Good Luck!
Here is a little bonus lesson:
